"Howdy Folks" from Florida (Panhandle)

[Kardan]

Hello, Thanks for allowing me to join this forum. I would like to say I believe I was born Christian Identity. As a child I was taught at church that I was an Israelite. A descendant of Jacob and that only white people could be such. I was raised for most of the first 10 years of my life (1970- 1980) in a very rural area in the southwest corner of Georgia. We were about 20years behind the times of mainstream America. It was still very segregated at the time except for schools. We were poor as dirt so to speak and had a small farm. My immediate family was Christian in name only. They knew nothing of the bible and didn’t worship Yahweh in any way. I don’t recall some things from so far back but I went to a church that taught me I was an Israelite. I don’t even remember what the church called itself. My belief in Yahweh in the early years of my life was the guiding force in all that I did. At about 10 years of age my mother’s husband at the time was in industrial construction and so we began to move all over the country as he went to different “Shut Downs” to work. We always moved to rural areas where ever we moved. I had to find new places to worship. I began to go to churches that taught “Jesus was a Jew” stuff. That Christianity was from the Jewish people. This was very confusing for me. I was still very young and couldn’t ask anyone why this was so different than what I had known as the truth. The people at the churches were not helping either, as they simply explained that I was wrong. I could feel something was not right with this belief and its teaching. I knew it was not for me. I could feel it in my heart. Yet I had no understanding of why.

I would like to say I was an abused and neglected child. My mother and her husband at the time were alcoholics and later became drug users as well. Life had always been very hard and I knew nothing else. I grew close to Yahweh at a very early age because he did much to protect me from all the chaos around me. I learned to listen to my heart at all times as it was Yahweh telling me what to do. It was a matter of survival to do so.

Now having these instinctive feelings that let me know when someone was deceiving me, caused me to quit going to church. I was not going to worship a Jew no matter what anyone said. If that was Christianity then by reasonable deduction I thought that I am not Christian. I was about 12 at this time. I began to pray simply to the “One that created me”. I was fine with that for a short time then at I began to thirst for more knowledge about who I was since I knew I was not a Judeo/Christian. Not knowing who you are at the beginning of puberty is a bad state of affairs. Then I found European paganism and seen that it was a white thing. So I began to learn about it. I continued on this path till my late 30’s. I found that the hardest part about it was the people. I never knew a pagan I could tolerate being around for very long without getting that feeling that it was wrong. The people whose company I was comfortable with were of the Sothern Christian variety that didn’t go to church but believe simply in being a good person for “God”. I still seemed to feel they were my people in a way but not in another. I still after all this time new that I didn’t know who I really was no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that I did. I knew I was of Irish/English blood. I knew paganism had a very long history in my people but so did Christianity. My girl friend at the time wanted me to be Christian because she loved me enough to not want me to burn in hell. She wasn’t Christian Identity. She just reads the bible a lot and tries to be the best person she can be, but not a Church going person. Now I knew of Christian Identity in a vague way. I had joined Stormfront years earlier because of the religious section and I could try to continue the search for “my People” Having done that, I was at least aware that there was a form of Christianity that was “Whites only” but that was the extent of what Christian Identity meant to me. Back to the girl friend, She came in one day and gave me an old book she had found. It was called “America and Brittan in Prophecy” by Herbert W. Armstrong. I kept it for several months before I read it. When I did it was the first I had heard of any type of Christian Identity. It was very moving and I then had to find out more. First thing I found was that there were many different forms of CI. I felt moved in my heart to find out all that I could. I knew it would lead me to home and my people. After a couple of years of digging I can surely attest that I am Dual Seedline Christian Identity. The best source of good and reliable truth I have found is Bill’s site Christogenea.org. It will take many more years just to read and listen to everything on the site and things related to it. Now over the last couple of years I have put all and I do mean all of my free time not working, into learning. I feel that Yahweh wants me to know everything a Pastor should really know. Not to be a Pastor in the usual since of the word with a congregation and all that but instead to teach at the right time and place. I have always been a survivalist. I feel my place in the things yet to come is more of a warrior/priest. The only allegiance I have ever sworn in my life was to Yahweh. I have a natural Yahweh given feeling since I was a child to never join any groups, clubs or organizations. And so I never have. You can not serve two masters. Even while a pagan I would not denounce Yahweh and neither could I swear any allegiance to pagan gods but instead I tried to paganize my Creator in an attempt to try and understand what I didn’t know. My only allegiance has always only been to my creator whom I now know is Yahweh. It would by default extend to his people, his elect, the children of Israel. Yahweh will show me who to help, teach and even protect in the times to come.

I tried to make it as short as possible. There are many gaps in that story. I just wanted to explain how I came to believe as I do.

Praise Yahweh for showing me the way. Thank you Bill, for this site and what you have done to help Yahweh’s people and thanks to several others we all here know as well.

Kardan

[LDDurrence]

Greetings, Kardan! Your story is very touching. You have certainly found the right place -- among those of kindred blood and spirit. Welcome and Yahweh bless!

[JamesTheJust]

Welcome Kardan,

After years of searching, you can finally say that you have found your people.

[Flanders]

That is very interesting, Kardon. I'd like to hear more of your story. Glad you are home!

[wmfinck]

Kardan,
Welcome to Christogenea!
Find your way to the chat server, when you have the time. The instructions are at http://christogenea.net/connect
Bill

[Eveleen]

A very touching story indeed. Yahweh sometimes shows us the truth before a long and painful search. It is quite rare that when you were a child you went to a church that thought that you are an Israelite.

“One that created me”.

I really like this sentence because many of us, before knowing the truth or the name of our God, we refered at Him or thought about Him in that way, we had a stong feeling that there was someone who indeed created us.

[Kardan]

My half brothers dad and his folks had a lot to do with why I went to that church as a child. He was a very high ranking member of the KKK way back then. I never mad that connection until recent years. I never heard any mention of their Klan business while at church so I never actually thought there was any connection but now I believe there must have been. He didn't like how I had to live and he and his family considered me one of there own and did what they could. I'm not KKK but back in the 70's in south Georgia all the descent men around there were. I have read that some of the Klan Pastors back then believed something along the lines of what CI does today. Whether it was dual seed line or not I have no Idea for sure. I was too young to know all the specifics. It only makes since to me because they sure hated jews. They were also very Christian. So Jesus being a jew was an absurd notion to these people.

[Kardan]

I read over my original post and realized I didn’t say much about who I am. It was mainly about how I came to believe as I do. Some people can go on and on about their self but I have always been more toward the opposite of that. You could know me for a long time and not hear me say much about me so I’ll add that now.

I am 40 years old and divorced. Twice. I’m a very country and old fashioned person. I have never been the type to do what everyone else is doing because it is popular. I have always been my own man. I quit school at 14 because of a couple of reasons. One was the negroes. It was becoming a popular thing at the time to be friends with them. That was back in 84’ when rap music was first becoming popular with the kids. I couldn’t do that and spent most of my time fighting with them. I will admit I started it most of the time. That gave me a lot of free time away from school so I went to work building houses. The second reason was money, being very poor at the time, because my mother was and she only made $5 an hour. I started out as a carpenter’s helper at $7. I tried to give my mother money but she wouldn’t take it. Since she was college educated and I was in the 9th grade and already made more than her I quit school and then moved out. My education didn’t stop there though. I taught myself by reading and doing. I focused on work for a lot of years becoming a foreman, then a superintendent and later a self employed draftsman drawing blue prints from my home. So at one time I was very ambitious. After my last divorce and losing basically everything I had worked so hard for I didn’t have that same ambition any longer and began to realize that I was in a way worshipping the dollar. I paid off any debts I had and now I just keep it very simple. I owe no man anything. I never cared for credit in the first place and now realize usury is a sin.

I had anxiety around the end of my last bondage…er uh marriage. I didn’t quite understand what it was so I had to educate myself on that. The doctors just wanted me to take drugs for it. I tried their method for a very short time. I just can’t do the drug thing. It messes up my mind. So as I learned about the causes of such and I began to pay attention to my self and started eliminating the things that bothered me. T.V. was the first thing to go. I noticed the stress it caused me and eliminated it. I still wanted to know about current events so I began to get news from the internet. That of coarse lead to my waking up as I found alternative news and realized main stream media was about lies and agendas.

I am a very independent person to the extreme. Meaning I find it very difficult to even ride with someone else in a car. I can follow you there or you can ride with me. I say extreme because it is just about impossible for me even to go a short distance with someone else, even if I try.

I have been told I have post traumatic stress disorder and after reading up on the subject thoroughly, I agree but I hate to label myself. It was in part the cause of my anxiety.

I have a daughter that is 20. I home schooled her and my step daughter so they didn’t have to be subjected to negroes and the filth and lies at public schools. Unfortunately I didn’t take T.V. out of their lives and the multiculturalism got a hold of her. She became a “race traitor” once she was old enough to leave my household. This is my greatest shame. I considered her dead to me and we haven’t spoken since. I mourned for a great while over this just as if she had really passed away because she was my only child and chose to kill our blood and disgrace our ancestors.

I really am trying to make this short and sweet but everything I say about myself is a story in its self.

I have always been a dog lover. I have 2 rottweilers and a chow. They are guard dogs. I sleep better because of it too. Even when I have lived in a high crime area where everyone had a story about having their house robbed, no one ever broke into mine.

Believing in Yahweh as I do now, I must say, has caused me to become more isolated and reclusive. You might never know that to meet me while at work, or at a store or something because I have a friendly outgoing sort of personality. Kind of laid back and down to earth. But I usually go home to my dogs and spend a lot of time reading. I don’t care for the company of people who are so very “corrupt”. It’s hard to explain really. I don’t mean to imply to be a friend you should do no wrong. We all are sinners, I know. But in this part of Florida even the conservatives are very liberal. All I find here are liberals and the typical neo-cons that love Israel above all else. I tried going to Church (Chuck Baldwin before he moved, I’m sure most have heard of him) just to get out and maybe meet folks. Chuck is a deceiver and his followers are lost. His patriotic message sounded good at first in these trying times as we watch our country go down the tubes. But he lies and the people there almost worshipped the man. I couldn’t do it. Of course I am very quite when surrounded by fools. Well I can be quiet at home. I was getting a new valve stem in my tire the other day and met this 85 year old man. I have always had a fondness for the elderly. We got to talking and before I new it he was talking about the bible. He then apologized for preaching and I assured him that was more than fine with me, carry on. Turns out he is a preacher. I was enjoying the conversation a lot and then it came. The jews. He had a great love for the jews and Israel. It ruined it

Does anyone else have this issue? I mean I didn’t bring it up he did. I was content not to mention it.

There aren’t any women in my life. That is a knew thing for me too, because I have always got a fair amount of attention. To be 40, I look 30. And I stay in shape. But I know if I allow it I can be some what captivated by them if I like them. I feel if she is not a good one it will interfere with my relationship with Yahweh.

I have an ex-girl friend that is a friend of mine (she is a controlling type, I’m not into that at all so we decided to be friends and have been for several years now) that has a house up in Kansas City, MO, actually it’s Grandview and she needs someone in it. It is sitting empty and she doesn’t want to sell it. And doesn’t want to deal with renting it any more either. So I am considering moving there and rent it from her. It would get me out and about some. I may even find CI people there. You never know.


So there you have it. I’m a 40 year old recluse (except I have to work) LOL. But I really don’t mind. Any way I hope this isn’t to long winded.

[Eveleen]

That's quite sad, that your only daughter married outside of our race and practically destroyed your bloodline. But it is not late to have another child whom you can teach better. I do not understand how a woman could interfere in your relationship with Yahweh, I mean if she is CI it's easier, if not then she might be impossible.

I have passed through that sort of things too, to be honest, except my boyfriend who is also CI I have practically no other friends. I cannot have any, because they all just want to party, are completly ignorant of what is going on and if you try to explain to them something they would not listen, because it is boring or it is insane or it's just not cool. Only through internet I can find people who are CI, or are at least a bit awaken.

From my point of view we cannot find anything good in churhes nowadays, they teach us lies, it is futil to go to one, just waste your time. Rethinking it.. Yea I would go to a churh to see the paintings, the architecture of the building.. take some pictures.. There are some amazingly beautiful churhes is Europe. here are some of my country that have like 500 years old.

http://www.crestinortodox.ro/admin/_fil ... ca3333.jpg
http://www.eliznik.org.uk/RomaniaViews/ ... dovita.JPG
http://blog.razvan-voiculescu.ro/wp-con ... cevita.jpg
http://web.mit.edu/romania/www/Romania/ ... edral3.jpg
http://andyghiuta.selfip.com/turismCent ... putna5.gif
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/c ... omania.jpg
http://see-romania.com/wp-content/galle ... omirna.jpg
http://www.romanianmonasteries.org/rom/ ... bota36.jpg

[Michael]

Welcome Kardan!