Obama Jokes

[mouthypatricia]

A merry heart doeth the body good like a medicine!


Q: What’s the main problem with Barack Obama jokes?
A: His followers don’t think they’re funny and everyone else doesn’t think they’re jokes.


The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate.


Q: Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment?
A: It stands between him and the First.


At a recent Obama speech there was a guy in the back of the hall screaming anti-American slogans and making hateful racist remarks. They turned the house lights up and it was Reverend Wright.

For a moment Obama thought he was back in church and yelled, “Can I get an amen”?


Q: What’s the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp?
A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish


Barack Obama: He has what it takes to take what you’ve got!


Q: What’s the difference between Greta Van Susteren and Barack Obama?
A: Greta only talks out of one side of her mouth.


Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.


Q: What’s the difference between Obama’s cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.


Q: What do Vanilla Ice, Eminem and Barack Obama have in common?
A: They all made careers pretending to be black men.


Q: What’s the difference between a large pizza and the typical Obama backer?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.


Obama has ordered GM to come out with a new model called the Pelosi. It’s a convertible, but no one wants to see it with the top down.


Q: What’s the difference between Simba and Obama?
A: Simba is an African lion while Obama is a lyin’ African.


Someone recently wrote, “A joke about Obama on the Letterman show is as likely as a joke about Mohammed in a mosque


If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved? … America!


Obama’s campaign slogan “Yes we can” has become “Yes you will.”


Teddy Kennedy has taken so much flak for supporting Obama’s spending that he recently said, “I have half a mind to get out of politics.”


Q: What’s brown and in your pocket?
A: Obama’s hand.

[TheBoss]

Good ones!

[TheBoss]

[TheBoss]

[mouthypatricia]

Cartoons are worth at least 2,000 words in these inflationary times!

[wmfinck]

A little girl wrote to Sarah Palin and asked;
'How did the human race start?'

Sarah Palin answered, "God made Adam and Eve."
"They had children, and so was all mankind made."

Two days later the girl wrote to Michelle Obama and asked the same question.

Michelle Obama answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."

The confused girl went to her father and said, "Dad, how is it possible that Sarah Palin told me, "The human race was created by God," and Michelle Obama said, "They were evolved from monkeys?"

Her father answered, "Well, Honey, it is very simple, Sarah Palin told you about her ancestors [well, half of them - WRF], and Michelle Obama, told you about hers."

(Too bad she's a jew, just figures!)

[TheBoss]

That sheboon looks just like that chimp.

[JamesTheJust]

I needed that...

[mouthypatricia]

Subject: Robert the Robot
A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he
noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and
asked, "Sir, what will you have?"

The man thought a moment then replied, "A martini please."

The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man
had ever had.

The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?"

The man answered "oh, about 164."

The robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of relativity',
'inter-steller space travel', 'the latest medical break throughs',
etc.......

The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a
different tact. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked
and asked what he would have? "A Martini please."

Again it was superb. The robot again asked "what is your IQ sir?"

This time the man answered, "Oh about 100". So the robot started
discussing Nascar racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the
Dodgers to do this weekend.

The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a
stool.... Again a martini, and the question, "What is your IQ?"??

This time the man drawled out "Uh..... bout 50".

The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked,

......................

"A-r-e? y-o-u-r?? p-e-o-p-l-e??? h-a-p-p-y? w-i-t-h O-B-A-M-A?????

[Les]