Hello, all,
I know that this is a very serious subject, but surely we can interject a little humor too.
It seems to me that the best response must lie somewhere in between these extremes.
For what it's worth, this was sent to us by a Norwegian.
Love,
Chere
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TERRORIST ALERTS AROUND THE WORLD
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A
Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a
"Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards" They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line in the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Drink more wine" to "Toast DeGaule".
The only two higher levels in France are "raise their noses" and "look for the foreign legion in the bordellos." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's Pernod Absinthe factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. The green fairie is really upset now.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly and organize political rallies" to
"Elaborate Military Posturing."
Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to
"Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher
levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Invade Russia".
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can go on vacation in the Mediterranean.
Americans meanwhile and as usual are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies and all countires who have oil in the ground, just in case.
And in the southern hemisphere... New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!".
Due to continuing defense cutbacks New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "S***, I hope Australia will come and rescue us".
Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No
worries" to "She'll be right, mate".
Three more escalation levels remain:
"Crikey!",
"I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and
"The barbie is cancelled".
So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
