I should probably quote all of you, but I think I'd rather just reply this way. It's awesome that God is opening my eyes (heart?) to the truth, but it also sucks because not only have I been lied to in public schools but in Church, as well. It's so much to take in, I'm not even exaggerating. I'm literally like an adult who just realized that he is still a baby (spiritually). Makes me want to scream at the pastors for not teaching me anything worthwhile. I could have figured out the things that they teach on my own!
Now that I'm following science and history also - I'm seeing the bigger picture. I just can't believe that I was raised around everyone telling me that nonwhites were my brothers and sisters and to love everyone, etc. I remember having a crush on some Hmong girl from 4th - 8th grade and being envious of black people because they were "so cool". I used to listen to gangster rap because I thought that it would make me look cool with the negroes.
I remember begging my dad to buy me those "thug" pants in 4th grade to look more like a negro. Imagine how insane it is that it's the exact opposite of what I thought it was. In 8th grade I asked my White teacher if I could pass for a "White person" in the 50's and she thought that I was joking when she said "Of course!". It's hilarious, actually. All the people who had a problem with me are actually the bad seed and not the other way around.
P.S What does it mean by everlasting shame. Does that mean people will always be sad in the afterlife (doesn't God wipe away every tear?) or is it more about some social status?