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Miscellaneous toons & other distractions
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Miscellaneous toons & other distractions
by wmfinck » Sun Aug 23, 2009 12:25 am
The Average American, Pigs feeding at the trough!
If a jew is moving his lips, he's lying. If you see a rabbi, there has already been a crime!
-
wmfinck - Site Admin
- Posts: 2775
- Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2009 2:09 am
Re: Miscellaneous toons & other distractions
by wmfinck » Wed Aug 26, 2009 3:24 pm
Hold Your Horses!
(This article is stolen from http://www.theinsanityreport.com/home/index.php/2009/07/30/news/sc-man-charged-with-having-sex-with-horse/)
SC Man Charged With Having Sex With Horse For Second Time
Posted on 30 July 2009 by Kriss
COLUMBIA, S.C. - A South Carolina man has been arrested for having sex with a horse after police say the animal’s owner caught him on surveillance camera.
Police say this isn’t the first time 50-year-old Rodell Vereen has been charged with buggery - last year he pleaded guilty to having sex with the same horse and was placed on the state’s sex offender list.
Police arrested Vereen on Monday, when he returned to the stable 20 miles northeast of Myrtle Beach where owner Barbara Kenley says a camera caught him having sex with her horse earlier this month. This time she was waiting for him with a shotgun and says she thought about shooting him but didn’t want to go to prison.
Vereen is in jail. His brother says he has mental problems and may not have been taking his medicine. (Source)
Honestly, I can say that I “racially profiled” this story and just didn’t think it could possibly be a black guy. What the hell is this? A modern day version of forbidden love ala Romeo & Juliet? I’m sorry but how does one become a two time horse fucker? Sorry but anyone that watching a Budweiser commercials and gets a hard on from watching the Clydesdales should be locked up in a mental institute. Seriously, once you start getting busy with livestock, there’s no limit to what else you would do because your moral compass is obviously haywire. I mean if you’re going to fuck a horse, what’s to stop you from robbing a bank or molesting a little child? People like this don’t need to be walking the streets. Lock his ass up, throw away the key. I know, jails are overcrowded. Well, instead of locking up the weed smoker, lock up the horse fucker. Trust me, the latter is more of a harm to society
(This article is stolen from http://www.theinsanityreport.com/home/index.php/2009/07/30/news/sc-man-charged-with-having-sex-with-horse/)
SC Man Charged With Having Sex With Horse For Second Time
Posted on 30 July 2009 by Kriss
COLUMBIA, S.C. - A South Carolina man has been arrested for having sex with a horse after police say the animal’s owner caught him on surveillance camera.
Police say this isn’t the first time 50-year-old Rodell Vereen has been charged with buggery - last year he pleaded guilty to having sex with the same horse and was placed on the state’s sex offender list.
Police arrested Vereen on Monday, when he returned to the stable 20 miles northeast of Myrtle Beach where owner Barbara Kenley says a camera caught him having sex with her horse earlier this month. This time she was waiting for him with a shotgun and says she thought about shooting him but didn’t want to go to prison.
Vereen is in jail. His brother says he has mental problems and may not have been taking his medicine. (Source)
Honestly, I can say that I “racially profiled” this story and just didn’t think it could possibly be a black guy. What the hell is this? A modern day version of forbidden love ala Romeo & Juliet? I’m sorry but how does one become a two time horse fucker? Sorry but anyone that watching a Budweiser commercials and gets a hard on from watching the Clydesdales should be locked up in a mental institute. Seriously, once you start getting busy with livestock, there’s no limit to what else you would do because your moral compass is obviously haywire. I mean if you’re going to fuck a horse, what’s to stop you from robbing a bank or molesting a little child? People like this don’t need to be walking the streets. Lock his ass up, throw away the key. I know, jails are overcrowded. Well, instead of locking up the weed smoker, lock up the horse fucker. Trust me, the latter is more of a harm to society
If a jew is moving his lips, he's lying. If you see a rabbi, there has already been a crime!
-
wmfinck - Site Admin
- Posts: 2775
- Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2009 2:09 am
Re: Miscellaneous toons & other distractions
by Les » Thu Aug 27, 2009 6:58 am
These made me actually laugh out loud! 
- Les
- Posts: 659
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2009 10:02 am
Re: Miscellaneous toons & other distractions
by Les » Thu Aug 27, 2009 7:16 am
I'll put these here,unless we start a Jokes thread,then they can be moved there.
Let me know if any of them is too tasteless for this site.
A Nazi walks into a bar, sits down and starts ordering up a couple of brewskis. After getting pretty drunk, the Nazi says to the bartender, "When I leave here tonight... I'm going out to kill 500 Jews and a clown."
Puzzled, the bartender asks, "Why would you kill a clown?", to which the Nazi begins to laugh.
"See, nobody cares about the Jews."
_______________
A man goes into a library and asks for the Self Help section.
The librarian says; "I'd help you, but that would beat the purpose of self help. "
There were 3 soldiers(and Italian guy, a Jewish guy, and a black guy) in battle, when a grenade went off in their foxhole, killing them immediately. The 3 men were then in heaven awaiting entry.
St. Peter says to them "heaven is full, so if you can give me 100 bucks, I'll send you back to earth". The Italian guy, without hesitation, pulls out a 100 dollar bill and gives it to him, sending him back to earth.
When he comes to back on earth, his commanding officers asks "where are your comrades"? The soldier tells the story, and tells him "Well, the Jewish guy has St. Peter down to 50 bucks, and the black guy is looking for a co-signer".
A man goes to the doctor. And the doctor says:
I have bad news and I have worst news. The bad news is you only have 24 hours to live
The man asks:
What are the worst news?
The doctor says:
I forgot to call you yesterday
_________________
there's this old couple and the husband has lost all interest in love making so the wife goes out and buys a pair of crotchless panties. She comes home, puts on the crotchless panties and waits for him to come home. The husband comes home a few hours later and she yells "I'm up here!" So the husband goes upstairs and see his wife laying on the bed in the crotchless panties. She says "see anything ya want?" He says "why would I want any of that? Look what it did to your panties."
chinese couple is laying in bed when the husband says "I WANNA 69!" She says "uh, why you want beef and broccoli now?"
How do you prevent a jigaboo from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
________________
Why do so many black people drive busses?
Because they get to ride in the front.
________________
What's white on top and black on bottom?
Society
_______________
What do you get when you cross a jigaboo with a jigaboo?
jigaboo.
______________
What do you get when you see 5 black dudes standing at the bus stop?
A flush
Why is the Afghan air force so easy to train?
You only have to teach them how to take off!
What does NAACP stand for?
Now Apes Are Called People
What do you call a jigaboo with a peg leg?
Shit on a stick!
What was missing from the Million Man March?
About a thousand miles of chain and an auctioneer!
What's the definition of Mass Confusion?
Fathers day in Harlem!
What do you call the million man march in the rain?
"Gorillas in the mist"
Why are all the jigaboo fast runners?
All the slow ones are in jail.
Whats the difference between jigaboo and snow tires?
Snow tires don't sing when you put chains on them!
What's the difference between a large pizza and a jigaboo?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
What's wrong with four jigaboo in a cadillac going off a cliff?
A cadillac seats five!
Why don't jigaboo dream?
The last one to have a dream got shot.
What do you call a white man in a group of twenty black men?
Tarzan of the apes.
Why are jigaboo so good at basketball?
It's the only game where they can run, shoot and steal
What do a slinky and a jigaboo have in common?
Both are useless and it's fun to watch them both falling down the stairs
Why don't jigaboo like barn dances?
Everytime they hear there's a 'hoe down' they think their sister got shot!
What's a jigaboo got in common with a bike?
Neither can work without chains
Did you hear the KKK bought the rights to "ROOTS"?
They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending!
Did you hear about the new black Barbie?
She comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.
Why do jigaboo drive nice cars, but live in crappy houses?
They haven't figured out how to steal a house yet!
What would you do if you had enough money to send half the jigaboo back to africa?
Send them all back half way
What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson with Arnold schwarzenegger?
Michael Wasanegger
What's more fun than swinging a baby jigaboo around on a string?
Stopping it with a shovel
What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
What's the difference between a jigaboo and a snow tire?
A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.
What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?
jigaboo.
Why don't sharks eat jigaboo?
They think it's whale shit.
What do you call a jigaboo in a tree with a briefcase?
Branch manager.
How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek?
They don't work in the future, either.
Why do jigaboo cry during sex?
The Mace.
How do you stop a jigaboo from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head.
How do you get a jigaboo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
What did the Alabama sherriff call the jigaboo who had been shot 15 times?
Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger?
Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.
Why do jigaboo stink?
So blind people can hate them too.
What do you get when you cross a jigaboo and a greasy person?
Someone too lazy to steal.
Why don't jigaboo take aspirin?
They refuse to pick the cotton out.
What do jigaboo kids get for Christmas?
Your bike.
What's a jigaboo idea of foreplay?
"Don't scream or I'll cut you, bitch."
Why do spics drive low-riders?
So they can cruise and pick lettuce at the same time.
What do you get when you cross a jew and a gypsy?
A chain of empty retail stores.
Why don't jigaboo kids play in the sandbox?
Cats keep covering them up.
What do you call an apartment full of jigaboo?
A racoon-dominium.
Why are there no jigaboo astronauts?
Their lips explode at 50,000 feet.
How do you babysit a niglet?
Wet his lips and stick him to the wall.
How else do you babysit a niglet?
Put Velcro on the ceiling and tell him to jump.
How do you get him down?
Invite the spics over, blindfold them and tell them it's a piñata party.
Why do jews have big noses?
Air is free.
What is a jigaboo on a bike?
Thief.
What's long and black and smells like shit?
The welfare line.
What do you call 50 jigaboo at the bottom of the ocean?
Good start.
What is the worst 3 years of a jigaboo life?
First grade.
How was break dancing invented?
jigaboo trying to steal hubcaps from moving cars.
Why do jigaboo keep chickens in their back yards?
To teach their kids how to walk.
How do you know Adam and Eve were not black?
You ever try to take a rib from a jigaboo?
What is a jigaboo?
Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead jigaboo in the road?
The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.
What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk?
"I set WHO free?"
Why are chimps always frowning?
They know in a million years they are going to turn into jigaboo.
Why is interrogating a Mexican like a pool ball?
The harder you hit it the more English you get.
How many jews can you fit in a VolksWagon?
All of them if you put them in the ashtray.
A jigaboo and a greasy person jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first?
Who cares.
A jigaboo and a greasy person jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first?
The greasy person, because the jigaboo had to stop on the way down and spray paint "motherfucker" on the wall.
Why don't spics have barbeques?
The beans keep falling through the grill.
You hear about the new car made in Israel?
Not only can it stop on a dime, it will go back and pick it up.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a pickle on his head?
A quarter-pounder.
How many Ethiopians can you fit in a phone booth?
All of them.
How do you start a foot race in Ethiopia?
Roll a doughnut down the street.
How many jigaboo does it take to pave a driveway?
One if you spread him real thin.
How do you blindfold a slant-eyes?
Dental floss.
How do chinks name their kids?
They throw silverware down the stairs.
What's the difference between a jigaboo and a bag of shit?
The bag.
What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
Father's Day.
When does a Black man turn into a jigaboo?
As soon as he leaves the room.
What do you call a jigaboo with a Harvard education?
jigaboo.
What do you call a jigaboo in a courtroom in a 3 piece suit?
The defendant.
There is a jigaboo and a greasy person in a car, who's driving?
The cop.
Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?
He doesn't know he's black.
How long does it take a jigaboo bitch to take a shit?
9 months.
Why don't jigaboo women wear panties to picnics?
To keep the flies off the chicken.
Why does Alabama have jigaboo and California have earthquakes?
California got first pick.
Why do Mexican cars have those little steering wheels?
So they can drive handcuffed.
Why are jigaboo like sperm?
Only one in a million actually work.
How do you fit 100 Cubans in a shoe box?
Tell them its a raft.
Why do police dogs lick their ass?
To get the taste of jigaboo out of their mouth.
What can a pizza do that a jigaboo can't?
Feed a family of four.
Why did the jigaboo carry a piece of shit in his wallet?
I.D.
What is red green yellow orange purple and pink?
A jigaboo dressed for church.
Why do jigaboo have flat noses?
That's where god put his feet when he was pulling off their tails.
Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots?
They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.
What is the difference between a white owl and a black owl?
A white owl goes, "Who, who," a black owl goes, "Who dat? Who dat?"
Did you hear about the new Black Barbie?
It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.
What is black, white, and rolls off the end of the pier?
A jigaboo and a seagull fighting over a chicken wing.
What do you get when you cross a jigaboo with a gorilla?
A dumb gorilla.
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
Did you hear about the new Chap Stick for jigaboo?
It comes in a spray can.
What's the difference between jigaboo and pit-bulls?
It's still legal to own a pit-bull.
What do you say to a black man in uniform?
"I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke."
Why do jigaboo walk the way they do?
Because they spent the first nine months of their lives dodging a coat hanger.
What happened when the Ethiopian fell in the crocodile pit?
He ate six crocs before they could pull him out.
Why do jigaboo call white people "honkies"?
That's the last sound they hear before the white people run them over.
How do you stop a jigaboo from going out?
Pour more gas on him.
Did you hear about the jigaboo with insomnia?
He kept waking up twice a week.
What do you do if you run over a jigaboo?
Reverse.
Why do decent white folks shop at jigaboo yard sales?
To get all their stuff back.
Hear about the new bumper sticker that says "Run, Jesse, Run"?
You put it on the front of your car.
Why do jigaboo wear wide-brimmed hats?
So pigeons can't shit on their lips.
Why did so many jigaboo soldiers get killed in Vietnam?
Every time someone yelled "Get down!" the jigaboo would jump up and start dancing.
What do you get when you cross a jigaboo with a Vietnamese?
Nothing. There are some things even a Vietnamese won't do.
What's black and tan and looks good on a jigaboo?
A Doberman Pinscher.
What's the fastest animal in the world?
The Ethiopian chicken.
Did you hear about Evel Knieval's new motorcycle stunt?
He's going to ride through Ethiopia with a sandwich tied to his back.
Did you hear about Ku Klux Knieval?
He tried to jump 50 jigaboo with a steam roller.
Why was golf invented?
So white people get a chance to dress like jigaboo.
What do you do if you see a jigaboo with half a head?
Stop laughing and reload.
Why did god create orgasms?
So jigaboo know when to stop.
Why are so many jigaboo moving to Detroit?
They heard there were no jobs there.
Why can't jigaboo women become nuns?
Because they can't get used to saying 'superior' after 'Mother'.
How do you fit 15 jigaboo in the back of a Cadillac?
Don't worry, they'll figure it out.
What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ?
A bus full of jigaboo going over a cliff.
How do you stop a jigaboo from drowning?
You don't.
Whats blue and hangs in my front yard?
My jigaboo I can paint him whatever color I want.
Why do seagulls have wings?
To beat the jigaboo to the dump.
What's a crying shame?
When a bus full of jigaboo drives off a cliff and there were 3 empty seats.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a feather up his ass?
A dart.
What does N.A.A.C.P stand for?
jigaboo Are Always Causing Problems
How many spics does it take to have a bath?
Five, one to lie in the tub and four to spit on him.
What do a jigaboo and an apple have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
Why are jigaboo always buried 12 feet deep?
Deep down they're good people.
What's the difference between a porch monkey and a yard ape?
The length of the chain.
What do you have if you've got a jigaboo up to his neck in cement?
Not enough cement.
How was copper wire invented?
Two jews fighting over a penny.
How do you starve a jigaboo?
Hide his welfare check under his work boots.
How do you get 12 jigaboo in a Volkswagen?
Throw in a welfare check.
How do you get them out?
Throw in a job application.
Why are there trees in Harlem?
Public transportation.
How does a black woman fight crime?
She has an abortion.
What do you say when you see your T.V. floating around at night?
"Drop it jigaboo."
___________________
Racism is like black people, it shoudn't exist.
___________________
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder playing piano?
-Neither has he.
Why does Stevie Wonder shake his head when he sings?
-Because he cant find the microphone.
What was Stevie Wonder's first hit?
-A lamp post.
Why does Stevie Wonder always smile?
-No one has told him he's black yet.
well while we are on the subject of Stevie Wonder, here is a powerful message from him!
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................ ......... ...................
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Let me know if any of them is too tasteless for this site.
A Nazi walks into a bar, sits down and starts ordering up a couple of brewskis. After getting pretty drunk, the Nazi says to the bartender, "When I leave here tonight... I'm going out to kill 500 Jews and a clown."
Puzzled, the bartender asks, "Why would you kill a clown?", to which the Nazi begins to laugh.
"See, nobody cares about the Jews."
_______________
A man goes into a library and asks for the Self Help section.
The librarian says; "I'd help you, but that would beat the purpose of self help. "
There were 3 soldiers(and Italian guy, a Jewish guy, and a black guy) in battle, when a grenade went off in their foxhole, killing them immediately. The 3 men were then in heaven awaiting entry.
St. Peter says to them "heaven is full, so if you can give me 100 bucks, I'll send you back to earth". The Italian guy, without hesitation, pulls out a 100 dollar bill and gives it to him, sending him back to earth.
When he comes to back on earth, his commanding officers asks "where are your comrades"? The soldier tells the story, and tells him "Well, the Jewish guy has St. Peter down to 50 bucks, and the black guy is looking for a co-signer".
A man goes to the doctor. And the doctor says:
I have bad news and I have worst news. The bad news is you only have 24 hours to live
The man asks:
What are the worst news?
The doctor says:
I forgot to call you yesterday
_________________
there's this old couple and the husband has lost all interest in love making so the wife goes out and buys a pair of crotchless panties. She comes home, puts on the crotchless panties and waits for him to come home. The husband comes home a few hours later and she yells "I'm up here!" So the husband goes upstairs and see his wife laying on the bed in the crotchless panties. She says "see anything ya want?" He says "why would I want any of that? Look what it did to your panties."
chinese couple is laying in bed when the husband says "I WANNA 69!" She says "uh, why you want beef and broccoli now?"
How do you prevent a jigaboo from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
________________
Why do so many black people drive busses?
Because they get to ride in the front.
________________
What's white on top and black on bottom?
Society
_______________
What do you get when you cross a jigaboo with a jigaboo?
jigaboo.
______________
What do you get when you see 5 black dudes standing at the bus stop?
A flush
Why is the Afghan air force so easy to train?
You only have to teach them how to take off!
What does NAACP stand for?
Now Apes Are Called People
What do you call a jigaboo with a peg leg?
Shit on a stick!
What was missing from the Million Man March?
About a thousand miles of chain and an auctioneer!
What's the definition of Mass Confusion?
Fathers day in Harlem!
What do you call the million man march in the rain?
"Gorillas in the mist"
Why are all the jigaboo fast runners?
All the slow ones are in jail.
Whats the difference between jigaboo and snow tires?
Snow tires don't sing when you put chains on them!
What's the difference between a large pizza and a jigaboo?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
What's wrong with four jigaboo in a cadillac going off a cliff?
A cadillac seats five!
Why don't jigaboo dream?
The last one to have a dream got shot.
What do you call a white man in a group of twenty black men?
Tarzan of the apes.
Why are jigaboo so good at basketball?
It's the only game where they can run, shoot and steal
What do a slinky and a jigaboo have in common?
Both are useless and it's fun to watch them both falling down the stairs
Why don't jigaboo like barn dances?
Everytime they hear there's a 'hoe down' they think their sister got shot!
What's a jigaboo got in common with a bike?
Neither can work without chains
Did you hear the KKK bought the rights to "ROOTS"?
They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending!
Did you hear about the new black Barbie?
She comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.
Why do jigaboo drive nice cars, but live in crappy houses?
They haven't figured out how to steal a house yet!
What would you do if you had enough money to send half the jigaboo back to africa?
Send them all back half way
What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson with Arnold schwarzenegger?
Michael Wasanegger
What's more fun than swinging a baby jigaboo around on a string?
Stopping it with a shovel
What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
What's the difference between a jigaboo and a snow tire?
A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.
What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?
jigaboo.
Why don't sharks eat jigaboo?
They think it's whale shit.
What do you call a jigaboo in a tree with a briefcase?
Branch manager.
How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek?
They don't work in the future, either.
Why do jigaboo cry during sex?
The Mace.
How do you stop a jigaboo from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head.
How do you get a jigaboo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
What did the Alabama sherriff call the jigaboo who had been shot 15 times?
Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger?
Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.
Why do jigaboo stink?
So blind people can hate them too.
What do you get when you cross a jigaboo and a greasy person?
Someone too lazy to steal.
Why don't jigaboo take aspirin?
They refuse to pick the cotton out.
What do jigaboo kids get for Christmas?
Your bike.
What's a jigaboo idea of foreplay?
"Don't scream or I'll cut you, bitch."
Why do spics drive low-riders?
So they can cruise and pick lettuce at the same time.
What do you get when you cross a jew and a gypsy?
A chain of empty retail stores.
Why don't jigaboo kids play in the sandbox?
Cats keep covering them up.
What do you call an apartment full of jigaboo?
A racoon-dominium.
Why are there no jigaboo astronauts?
Their lips explode at 50,000 feet.
How do you babysit a niglet?
Wet his lips and stick him to the wall.
How else do you babysit a niglet?
Put Velcro on the ceiling and tell him to jump.
How do you get him down?
Invite the spics over, blindfold them and tell them it's a piñata party.
Why do jews have big noses?
Air is free.
What is a jigaboo on a bike?
Thief.
What's long and black and smells like shit?
The welfare line.
What do you call 50 jigaboo at the bottom of the ocean?
Good start.
What is the worst 3 years of a jigaboo life?
First grade.
How was break dancing invented?
jigaboo trying to steal hubcaps from moving cars.
Why do jigaboo keep chickens in their back yards?
To teach their kids how to walk.
How do you know Adam and Eve were not black?
You ever try to take a rib from a jigaboo?
What is a jigaboo?
Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead jigaboo in the road?
The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.
What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk?
"I set WHO free?"
Why are chimps always frowning?
They know in a million years they are going to turn into jigaboo.
Why is interrogating a Mexican like a pool ball?
The harder you hit it the more English you get.
How many jews can you fit in a VolksWagon?
All of them if you put them in the ashtray.
A jigaboo and a greasy person jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first?
Who cares.
A jigaboo and a greasy person jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first?
The greasy person, because the jigaboo had to stop on the way down and spray paint "motherfucker" on the wall.
Why don't spics have barbeques?
The beans keep falling through the grill.
You hear about the new car made in Israel?
Not only can it stop on a dime, it will go back and pick it up.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a pickle on his head?
A quarter-pounder.
How many Ethiopians can you fit in a phone booth?
All of them.
How do you start a foot race in Ethiopia?
Roll a doughnut down the street.
How many jigaboo does it take to pave a driveway?
One if you spread him real thin.
How do you blindfold a slant-eyes?
Dental floss.
How do chinks name their kids?
They throw silverware down the stairs.
What's the difference between a jigaboo and a bag of shit?
The bag.
What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
Father's Day.
When does a Black man turn into a jigaboo?
As soon as he leaves the room.
What do you call a jigaboo with a Harvard education?
jigaboo.
What do you call a jigaboo in a courtroom in a 3 piece suit?
The defendant.
There is a jigaboo and a greasy person in a car, who's driving?
The cop.
Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?
He doesn't know he's black.
How long does it take a jigaboo bitch to take a shit?
9 months.
Why don't jigaboo women wear panties to picnics?
To keep the flies off the chicken.
Why does Alabama have jigaboo and California have earthquakes?
California got first pick.
Why do Mexican cars have those little steering wheels?
So they can drive handcuffed.
Why are jigaboo like sperm?
Only one in a million actually work.
How do you fit 100 Cubans in a shoe box?
Tell them its a raft.
Why do police dogs lick their ass?
To get the taste of jigaboo out of their mouth.
What can a pizza do that a jigaboo can't?
Feed a family of four.
Why did the jigaboo carry a piece of shit in his wallet?
I.D.
What is red green yellow orange purple and pink?
A jigaboo dressed for church.
Why do jigaboo have flat noses?
That's where god put his feet when he was pulling off their tails.
Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots?
They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.
What is the difference between a white owl and a black owl?
A white owl goes, "Who, who," a black owl goes, "Who dat? Who dat?"
Did you hear about the new Black Barbie?
It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.
What is black, white, and rolls off the end of the pier?
A jigaboo and a seagull fighting over a chicken wing.
What do you get when you cross a jigaboo with a gorilla?
A dumb gorilla.
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
Did you hear about the new Chap Stick for jigaboo?
It comes in a spray can.
What's the difference between jigaboo and pit-bulls?
It's still legal to own a pit-bull.
What do you say to a black man in uniform?
"I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke."
Why do jigaboo walk the way they do?
Because they spent the first nine months of their lives dodging a coat hanger.
What happened when the Ethiopian fell in the crocodile pit?
He ate six crocs before they could pull him out.
Why do jigaboo call white people "honkies"?
That's the last sound they hear before the white people run them over.
How do you stop a jigaboo from going out?
Pour more gas on him.
Did you hear about the jigaboo with insomnia?
He kept waking up twice a week.
What do you do if you run over a jigaboo?
Reverse.
Why do decent white folks shop at jigaboo yard sales?
To get all their stuff back.
Hear about the new bumper sticker that says "Run, Jesse, Run"?
You put it on the front of your car.
Why do jigaboo wear wide-brimmed hats?
So pigeons can't shit on their lips.
Why did so many jigaboo soldiers get killed in Vietnam?
Every time someone yelled "Get down!" the jigaboo would jump up and start dancing.
What do you get when you cross a jigaboo with a Vietnamese?
Nothing. There are some things even a Vietnamese won't do.
What's black and tan and looks good on a jigaboo?
A Doberman Pinscher.
What's the fastest animal in the world?
The Ethiopian chicken.
Did you hear about Evel Knieval's new motorcycle stunt?
He's going to ride through Ethiopia with a sandwich tied to his back.
Did you hear about Ku Klux Knieval?
He tried to jump 50 jigaboo with a steam roller.
Why was golf invented?
So white people get a chance to dress like jigaboo.
What do you do if you see a jigaboo with half a head?
Stop laughing and reload.
Why did god create orgasms?
So jigaboo know when to stop.
Why are so many jigaboo moving to Detroit?
They heard there were no jobs there.
Why can't jigaboo women become nuns?
Because they can't get used to saying 'superior' after 'Mother'.
How do you fit 15 jigaboo in the back of a Cadillac?
Don't worry, they'll figure it out.
What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ?
A bus full of jigaboo going over a cliff.
How do you stop a jigaboo from drowning?
You don't.
Whats blue and hangs in my front yard?
My jigaboo I can paint him whatever color I want.
Why do seagulls have wings?
To beat the jigaboo to the dump.
What's a crying shame?
When a bus full of jigaboo drives off a cliff and there were 3 empty seats.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a feather up his ass?
A dart.
What does N.A.A.C.P stand for?
jigaboo Are Always Causing Problems
How many spics does it take to have a bath?
Five, one to lie in the tub and four to spit on him.
What do a jigaboo and an apple have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
Why are jigaboo always buried 12 feet deep?
Deep down they're good people.
What's the difference between a porch monkey and a yard ape?
The length of the chain.
What do you have if you've got a jigaboo up to his neck in cement?
Not enough cement.
How was copper wire invented?
Two jews fighting over a penny.
How do you starve a jigaboo?
Hide his welfare check under his work boots.
How do you get 12 jigaboo in a Volkswagen?
Throw in a welfare check.
How do you get them out?
Throw in a job application.
Why are there trees in Harlem?
Public transportation.
How does a black woman fight crime?
She has an abortion.
What do you say when you see your T.V. floating around at night?
"Drop it jigaboo."
___________________
Racism is like black people, it shoudn't exist.
___________________
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder playing piano?
-Neither has he.
Why does Stevie Wonder shake his head when he sings?
-Because he cant find the microphone.
What was Stevie Wonder's first hit?
-A lamp post.
Why does Stevie Wonder always smile?
-No one has told him he's black yet.
well while we are on the subject of Stevie Wonder, here is a powerful message from him!
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- Les
- Posts: 659
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2009 10:02 am
Re: Miscellaneous toons & other distractions
by mouthypatricia » Wed Sep 02, 2009 12:45 pm
I don't see a problem with a black having sex with a horse. Where does it say Beast 2 Beast sex is wrong? 
- mouthypatricia
Re: Miscellaneous toons & other distractions
by Les » Fri Sep 04, 2009 2:36 pm
A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes: 'USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!'
She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed another note: 'USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!'
The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from him: 'I USE PLENTY SOAP ON PANTIES!!! USE MORE PAPER ON ASS!!'
---------------------------------
As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President, and that our taxes, and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%.
Since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go.
So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lot and found six Obama bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change; I gave it to them.
I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.
----------------------------------------
The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me
And there you are,
sitting on your ass,
at your computer, reading jokes.
She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed another note: 'USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!'
The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from him: 'I USE PLENTY SOAP ON PANTIES!!! USE MORE PAPER ON ASS!!'
---------------------------------
As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President, and that our taxes, and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%.
Since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go.
So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lot and found six Obama bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change; I gave it to them.
I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.
----------------------------------------
The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me
And there you are,
sitting on your ass,
at your computer, reading jokes.
- Les
- Posts: 659
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2009 10:02 am
Re: Miscellaneous toons & other distractions
by Les » Fri Sep 04, 2009 6:14 pm
Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a vodka martini along with a quiet conversation with Jesus.
This happened to me again after a particularly difficult day. I said "Jesus, why do I work so hard?"
And I heard the reply: "Men find many ways to demonstrate the love they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for your friends and family to gather."
I said: "I thought that money was the root of all evil."
And the reply was: "No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad".
I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning question, so I asked it. "Jesus," I said, "what is the meaning of life? Why am I here?"
He replied: "That is a question many men ask. The answer is in your heart and is different for everyone. I would love to chat with you some more, Señor, but for now, I have to finish your lawn."
------------------------------------
One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench.
He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton."
The Marine replied, "Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn't reside here."
The old man said, "Okay," and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton".
The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn't reside here."
The man thanked him and again walked away . . .
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton."
The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mrs. Clinton. I've told you already several times that Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn't reside here. Don't you understand?"
The old man answered, "Oh, I understand you fine, I just love hearing your answer!"
The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow sir."
one for you americans
-----------------------------
A Mexican, an Iraqi, and a redneck girl are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice".
The Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Iraq we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.
The redneck girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one draft, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Iraqi. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says, "In America we have so many illegal Mexicans and Arabs that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice."
another for the americans
--------------------------
Why do brides wear white ?
So they match the other household appliances.
--------------------------------
Two Muslim mothers are sitting in the cafe chatting over a pint of goat's milk. The older of the moms pulls out her bag and starts flipping through pictures and reminiscing. This is my oldest son, Mohammed. He would be 24 now."
The other mom replies, "I remember him as a baby."
Mom says, "He's a martyr now."
"Oh, so sad, my dear."
Mom flips to another picture. "And this is my second son, Kalid. He would be 21."
"Oh I remember him. He had such curly hair when he was born."
Mom sighs, "He's a martyr, too."
"Oh gracious me," says the second mother.
"And this is my third son. My beautiful Ahmed.! He would be 18." Mom whispers.
"Yes," says her friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school."
"He's a martyr also" Mom says, with tears in her eyes.
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photos and says,
"They blow up so fast, don't they?"
-----------------------------------
This happened to me again after a particularly difficult day. I said "Jesus, why do I work so hard?"
And I heard the reply: "Men find many ways to demonstrate the love they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for your friends and family to gather."
I said: "I thought that money was the root of all evil."
And the reply was: "No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad".
I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning question, so I asked it. "Jesus," I said, "what is the meaning of life? Why am I here?"
He replied: "That is a question many men ask. The answer is in your heart and is different for everyone. I would love to chat with you some more, Señor, but for now, I have to finish your lawn."
------------------------------------
One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench.
He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton."
The Marine replied, "Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn't reside here."
The old man said, "Okay," and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton".
The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn't reside here."
The man thanked him and again walked away . . .
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton."
The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mrs. Clinton. I've told you already several times that Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn't reside here. Don't you understand?"
The old man answered, "Oh, I understand you fine, I just love hearing your answer!"
The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow sir."
one for you americans
-----------------------------
A Mexican, an Iraqi, and a redneck girl are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice".
The Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Iraq we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.
The redneck girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one draft, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Iraqi. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says, "In America we have so many illegal Mexicans and Arabs that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice."
another for the americans
--------------------------
Why do brides wear white ?
So they match the other household appliances.
--------------------------------
Two Muslim mothers are sitting in the cafe chatting over a pint of goat's milk. The older of the moms pulls out her bag and starts flipping through pictures and reminiscing. This is my oldest son, Mohammed. He would be 24 now."
The other mom replies, "I remember him as a baby."
Mom says, "He's a martyr now."
"Oh, so sad, my dear."
Mom flips to another picture. "And this is my second son, Kalid. He would be 21."
"Oh I remember him. He had such curly hair when he was born."
Mom sighs, "He's a martyr, too."
"Oh gracious me," says the second mother.
"And this is my third son. My beautiful Ahmed.! He would be 18." Mom whispers.
"Yes," says her friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school."
"He's a martyr also" Mom says, with tears in her eyes.
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photos and says,
"They blow up so fast, don't they?"
-----------------------------------
- Les
- Posts: 659
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2009 10:02 am
Re: Miscellaneous toons & other distractions
by wmfinck » Mon Sep 07, 2009 8:38 pm
If a jew is moving his lips, he's lying. If you see a rabbi, there has already been a crime!
-
wmfinck - Site Admin
- Posts: 2775
- Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2009 2:09 am
Re: Miscellaneous toons & other distractions
by wmfinck » Sat Oct 10, 2009 8:32 am
If a jew is moving his lips, he's lying. If you see a rabbi, there has already been a crime!
-
wmfinck - Site Admin
- Posts: 2775
- Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2009 2:09 am
I would rather keep drinking!
by wmfinck » Thu Oct 22, 2009 12:41 pm
I mean, seriously, would you quit?
If a jew is moving his lips, he's lying. If you see a rabbi, there has already been a crime!
-
wmfinck - Site Admin
- Posts: 2775
- Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2009 2:09 am
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